thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize