Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
