ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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