So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize