i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
