Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
