just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
