Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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