i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
