The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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