You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
