Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
