dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize