I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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