you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
