its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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