He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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