Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
sex in a hospital.. check
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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