If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
