I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Boobs are out for the taking
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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