Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
