It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I looked at my own cervix.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
