I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize