If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
