i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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