the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
