I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
