I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
