Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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