just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
