We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
