When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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