That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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