apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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