Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
