At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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