So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
