Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
