I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
