There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
