when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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