I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am one with the molecules
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize