You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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