He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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