I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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