1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
