Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
