I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
