Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
