it wasn't lemon gatorade
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
