Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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