I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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