Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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