At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize