I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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