just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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