I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
