So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
