he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
