I'm jealous of your bromance
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
