It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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