great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
