im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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