some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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