theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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