I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
