Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
