O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
