Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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