This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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