Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize