he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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