It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
