And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
