so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
