I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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