she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
