You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
