he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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